Or Not...

Ever been torn between two things you feel you do well... that’s where I’m at.  So, I had two interviews this past week.  Landing one of these jobs would shift my life back into being an Executive type.  Not being offered either of them would allow me to keep doing what I’m doing and that’s been being a loving creative free spirit.

The reality is this, the two could truly coexist, just as they did prior to my leaving my last job.  I found in my career, there are a lot of creative souls out there, in jobs, just doing them, doing them well, but going through the motions, just the same.  A fellow creative just took a job.  I see the agony in him, he doesn’t want to work, he wants to create, but he’s gotta eat!  It’s sad the decision to live your dreams is a matter of eating or not, having a place to live or not....how many of us would choose “or not” will I make enough in my creative space or not...do I have what it takes, or not... Or not? Or not dictates a lot!  This “or not” notion is a deep one... do I stay in circumstances I’m not happy with, or not?  The crazy thing about this is... most people don’t choose or not.  They choose the path of less resistance, the safe path... rather than taking a chance, living their true bliss... they stay in the very situation that brings about the pain, that brings the unhappiness because the “or not” is scary.

The reality of my life is this, I never would have chosen to leave my last job, nope, not doing that.  But after the situation was forced upon me, the or not was okay.  I didn’t realize how okay it really was until now...now that I am looking at going back.  My or not has been pretty amazing.  Do I go back to work, or not.  Hmmmm.